Going thru the darkness to get to the light..
I’ve been thru a variation of hell. A personal hell. I had seen the light before my dark journey into night. And I’ve seen it again after. Prone to the spiritual life since I was a child, I had prophetic dreams, visions, intense gut feelings, premonitions; an awareness of a sixth sense was part of my normality. I didn’t really speak of it, but to a handful of close friends and to my parents.. Later to my grandparents, priests, pastors, siblings and other spiritual souls.
It wasn’t easy at times. I’d often be plagued with horrendous nightmares for the duration of years that I had experienced the dark night of the soul. During which, I came to recognize there was a darkness lingering – a darkness apart from me that had some kind of tie to me. I didn’t understand and I still don’t quite fully understand. But I learned this happens to those who carry the light. An outer entity was attracted, not to the light, but, to whatever buried darkness I had within my own self. So like goes to like. And it hungered for my darkness to grow enough to dim the light within me, and, eventually to snuff it out. But my light is a reflection of my Father, or as some would say, of the Source. The Source of light and life and love was shining in me as it does in all of us, especially as children. But somehow I sensed the external darkness around me. Maybe it was because of my heightened sensitivity- my ability to perceive energies. I cant say what my darkness is but we all have something.. Some kind of vice within us that opens that portal.
When it began, I didn’t understand the dark night of the soul that I would go thru, that many light bearers and truth seekers must go thru. But there was a guide and a protector with me throughout the duration and ever after. There was the Master who is the Light and who taught my heart the way thru, accompanying me in every step.. Sometimes even spiritually carrying me upon his back or in his arms. He does this for everyone. Many just don’t know it. Often he teaches me silently in my heart. Sometimes I hear his voice speak so quietly from the core of me, telling me there is nothing to fear. He taught me the way to conquer the dark night.. He taught me how to stay strong in love to combat darker energies. He taught me that He is one with me and I am one with him because he is within me and I’m within him. He is The Source of life and he is within all. And everyone is one with each other, one within the Source, the Source within everyone. That is the light of Love. The light of truth.
Everyday I give him thanks. Everyday I praise him with love in all of creation because everything I see that is naturally made has his own love pouring forth thru it. I am a child of Light. I am a child of love. And this place is not my home.. I am on a temporary journey here. And so I appreciate my moments here, all of them. The good and the bad. Each encounter and each experience is a blessing and a learning lesson. And I even appreciate the darkness I have been thru and may go thru again. It was thru that dark night of the soul, which felt at times that I had entered and exited hell, that has purified me spiritually. Many of my old ways of vice and inner darkness were purged and, in hindsight, I see that my experience thru the darkness was like a dying of my old, faulty self, making way for a kind of spiritual resurrection to a new self of pure light. And it is beautiful.